Did that title grab your attention? We're on Day Three of the 7 Days of Hope! (To catch up, check out Day 2 and Day 1.) Today's chapter talks about reaching a breaking point. In a moment of mommy-desperation, Brooke (who neither drinks nor smokes) called her husband and told him to come home, bringing beer and cigarettes. The smart man came home, and brought chocolate and Coke.
Have you had a moment when you just couldn't take it anymore? When you were just so tired and frustrated and weary?
|R - one year|
The girls were 1 and 3.
|N - 3 years|
Hubby was traveling all over the state. He usually arrived home long after bedtime and left before the girls woke up in the morning. In fact, in order to keep track of where he was at, we hung a map of Minnesota in the hallway, and would place stickers on the cities where Daddy was at....and let me tell you, there were a lot of stickers.
|Our "Where's Daddy?" map|
Those were some long, long, long days -- with an uber-active pre-schooler, a toddler requiring lots of care, and a puppy who would eat anything in his path. Dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, child care .... these things were solely my responsibility because Hubby was rarely at home when he wasn't sleeping.
In order to combat a bit of the craziness I was feeling, I started loading up the girls and heading for the drive-thru at the local coffee shop. I was a seeker of sanity. But I settled for being a seeker of Starbucks. (I can trace my love of mochas and lattes to this year!)
I can remember locking myself in the bathroom, crying because I was out of energy, out of patience, out of everything. There were so many times in that stretch of endless days where I didn't even know how to ask for help. I began throwing up "breath prayers" - you know, those words, desperately lifted towards heaven in a quick breath, like a gasp for help.
"Father, help me not to lose it."
"God, I really need you right now."
"Jesus, help me."
And I believe He heard those cries of my heart, when I didn't even have the strength to fully form my requests. He was strength in my weakness. And I made it through those times, with all of us in one piece. Almost four years later, we still talk about "the map of all the places Daddy went." (And the dog still eats socks.)
- Where do you usually turn for relief?
Can you relate to the story Brooke shared in this chapter of feeling completely overwhelmed?
- Have you gotten to the place of total breakdown? What did it look like for you